ONE THOUSAND GIFTS

by bmcmath_spainfield

by Beth Ann Morgan

I forget at what point during our years of crisis that I read Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, but I do remember the enormous impact its message had on my life.

My good friend, Michele Cervone Scott, had posted about New York Times’ Bestselling Author, Ann Voskamp, on her blog, www.mommyforwardllc.blogspot.com, some time ago. I had a little time at Abby’s bedside one day, so I checked it out.

Visiting www.aholyexperience.com quickly became number one on my personal gift list.

As a cancer survivor, Ann shared with amazing transparency the value of gratitude during the many years of her family’s struggle with devastating disease. Her inspiring story has blessed millions by giving new meaning to the concept of finding something for which to be thankful, no matter what the circumstances.

Early in our years of trying times, a friend had challenged me to constantly look for things to be thankful for, no matter how long the journey may be. I saw the value and pounced on it, making it a habitual priority in my daily life. One Thousand Gifts enabled me to continue the pursuit during one of the darkest periods, giving me things to look forward to and hope for, simple and easy-to-find things that I so often took for granted but could now appreciate through new eyes.

It gets hard to remain thankful in the thick of it. When you sit next to a loved one lying in a hospital bed, when chronic injury or illness leaves you operating at less than full capacity – indefinitely, when your spouse sleeps somewhere else at night.

Whatever the case may be, one thing I highly recommend is finding something to be thankful for, something to keep you inching forward and remembering the good in this life. Pony tails and snow cones. The postman who makes my little boy feel like a man by loading him up with three envelopes and a package. The color of wheat fields in the sunshine. The bubbly sound of a baby belly laughing. The neighbor who brought over a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies just because.

I don’t hide from the hurt of reality. I take time to feel my feelings, but I don’t stay there. After I pour out my heart like water before the Lord, I make bold requests birthed out of gratitude for the gifts He’s already given. The discipline of giving thanks keeps His power and love on the forefront of my mind, deepening my trust in Him and reminding me that He has set my feet upon a Rock in the midst of the chaos of my life.

Thank You, God.

photo credit: bmcmath

THE DNA OF RELATIONSHIPS

storm clouds

by Beth Ann Morgan

Crisis brings out the best – and worst – in all of us. We have a distinct choice in how we handle every relational challenge, and how we choose to handle them ultimately defines who we are.

In the midst of a raging storm, it’s all too easy to say and do things to damage our relationships. All of the late nights and skipped meals, the broken routine and disorder, the loneliness and emotional rollercoaster equates to an intricate but all-too-common recipe for disaster.

But there is hope. Crisis can be a great time to push “reset”.

When Christian and I found ourselves in the boiling pot of the thickest mess, we really struggled to relate well to each other. Our world had fallen apart and seemed to continue falling apart on a daily basis.

My husband and I loved each other like crazy, but we both carried deep pain and had little time to mentally process any of it. Over the course of many months in crisis that grew into years, small hurts festered into the blackest gangrene, a cavernous mouth that threatened to devour life and limb.

We saw the amputation coming and knew we couldn’t stop it alone. We needed help while we still loved each other enough to do the hard, dirty work and determined to not just fix our relationship but also eliminate the threat of it ever happening again.

This family had seen too many band-aids.

Our family counselor, Dr. Wayne Schantzenbach, recommended one of the best books we have ever read, The DNA of Relationships by Dr. Gary Smalley. With amazing clarity and practical help, the author teaches couples how to identify the root cause of their deepest wounds and how marital partners can unintentionally deepen their spouse’s pain instead serving as an agent of healing for each other.

We thank God for sending us a permanent solution through lots of prayer, the help of many people, scriptures, and books. Especially The DNA of Relationships. I recommend it to every married (or almost married) person on the planet.

Thank You, God.