Tag Archives: Hope

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October 28, 2014

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Heal, Hope, Uncategorized

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THE DNA OF RELATIONSHIPS

storm clouds

by Beth Ann Morgan

Crisis brings out the best – and worst – in all of us. We have a distinct choice in how we handle every relational challenge, and how we choose to handle them ultimately defines who we are.

In the midst of a raging storm, it’s all too easy to say and do things to damage our relationships. All of the late nights and skipped meals, the broken routine and disorder, the loneliness and emotional rollercoaster equates to an intricate but all-too-common recipe for disaster.

But there is hope. Crisis can be a great time to push “reset”.

When Christian and I found ourselves in the boiling pot of the thickest mess, we really struggled to relate well to each other. Our world had fallen apart and seemed to continue falling apart on a daily basis.

My husband and I loved each other like crazy, but we both carried deep pain and had little time to mentally process any of it. Over the course of many months in crisis that grew into years, small hurts festered into the blackest gangrene, a cavernous mouth that threatened to devour life and limb.

We saw the amputation coming and knew we couldn’t stop it alone. We needed help while we still loved each other enough to do the hard, dirty work and determined to not just fix our relationship but also eliminate the threat of it ever happening again.

This family had seen too many band-aids.

Our family counselor, Dr. Wayne Schantzenbach, recommended one of the best books we have ever read, The DNA of Relationships by Dr. Gary Smalley. With amazing clarity and practical help, the author teaches couples how to identify the root cause of their deepest wounds and how marital partners can unintentionally deepen their spouse’s pain instead serving as an agent of healing for each other.

We thank God for sending us a permanent solution through lots of prayer, the help of many people, scriptures, and books. Especially The DNA of Relationships. I recommend it to every married (or almost married) person on the planet.

Thank You, God.

 

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October 25, 2014

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Help

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WIPES ARE NOT JUST FOR BABIES

WIPES

by Beth Ann Morgan

Even when I’m 85, baby wipes will accompany me in the car, in my purse, and in my home. I love them. I can think of few items that are so versatile yet affordable. I’ve even made them myself.

When I delivered my oldest daughter, Hannah, I’d needed to stay in bed more than the average mom, so my wonderful husband changed all of her diapers. He looked around for baby wipes, and finding none, he called and asked for some. Both he and I could not hide our surprise when the nurse returned and handed him a stack of what appeared to be fabric softener sheets.

He looked at me, I looked at him. The “wipes” were completely dry. No compact plastic box, no powder fresh scent, no nothing. Upon the nurse’s return, she kindly instructed my husband to moisten them under running water. The hospital had recently switched from common packaged wipes due to multiple incidents of diaper rash and yeast infections amongst their newborn patients.

We found them quite wonderful. I admit that initially, I couldn’t wait to get home and use my fancy new box of lavender-scented wipes. Not using a product (other than tap water) to clean a little bottom after removing a soiled diaper was foreign to me. However, after returning home and using our wipes for about a two-week period, Hannah’s little bottom reacted to the fragrance.

I dug out the dry hospital wipes.

Since then we’ve used any and all types of wipes. When a child appears to have any type of rash, we immediately switch to water-wipes, but other than that, we’re not fussy about wipes. We think they’re fantastic.

Definitely on the Top Ten Practical Life Helps – full list posting soon.

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October 23, 2014

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Crisis, Help

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THE NEXT 1-2-3

1-2-3

by Beth Ann Morgan

One of the most helpful things I’ve learned as an adult is how to switch to The Next 1-2-3 thinking when I catch myself starting to feel overwhelmed. The sheer emotion of crisis threatens to consume sanity like a lion devours its prey, so I’ve learned to lean heavily on a God-sent tool that helped structure my mind.

It was subconscious at first. An Early Intervention therapist named Lisa had taught me how to structure my daughter’s daily activity by using a simple 1-2-3 method. Our family had found it effective and incorporated it into our daily life.

Little did the therapist (and I) know how critical THE NEXT 1-2-3 would become to my own survival.

Here’s how it works:

  • I ask myself, “What are the next three things I’m going to do?”
  • I formulate my plan: 1) Unlock the door. 2) Turn on the light. 3) Turn on the oven.
  • I carry out the three tasks in order.

Done. Then I would plan my next three steps: 1) Put my keys on the hook. 2) Hang up my coat. 3) Set my purse in the closet.

Sometimes it was change a diaper, wash my hands, and head downstairs. When things were incredibly tough, I completed only one task at a time.

It was all I could handle.

Minute-by-minute, task-by-task, somehow it all got done, or at least what needed to get done did. Even though I stayed busy and productive, I had minimized the decision-making process and given myself a mental mini-break by using the NEXT 1-2-3.

Sound crazy? Try it next time you’re in the middle of a substantial mess struggling to keep breathing, dragging yourself around on less than two hours of sleep.

Every bit of energy counts.

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October 21, 2014

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PILLOWCASE RACE

pillow race

by Beth Ann Morgan

Have wide eyes and hope-filled smiles ever greeted you at the door after a really long hard day? There’s no place you’d rather be, but your heart sinks at the thought of disappointing the ones you love the most.

When John and then Abby were in the hospital, I knew it was important to keep doing things, fun things, with the children left behind at home. The mother in me knew we needed to smile together, laugh together, and make memories together, but I was exhausted and hard-pressed for ideas

One rare evening when all of us were home before one of Abby’s critical surgeries, my husband took the initiative to lighten things up. He quietly opened the linen closet, grabbed a pillowcase, and disappeared into the upstairs bathroom while the kids remained absorbed in selecting their bedtime stories.

He emerged from the bathroom grinning from ear-to-ear. Both of his feet were inside the pillowcase, and his hands grasped the top seam at his knees. My knight in shining armor hopped over to me.

I smiled wide. Here stood my hero, yellow ducky print and all.

“Who’s ready to race?” His deep voice bellowed down the hall, and soon, we heard little feet pounding the floor. A chorus of grins and giggles erupted all at once.

“ME! ME! ME!”

Up and down the hallway we went, again and again, nobody really winning per say. The goal was to simply remain upright without trampling Abby. She typically fell within the first ten feet, giggling and rolling.

Free. Easy. Adorable.

The next time your children (and your spouse) are looking for something fun, try peeking in your linen closet for a simple and quick bedtime smile.

It’s waiting inside.

 

Photo courtesy of Pinterest

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October 11, 2014

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Health

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SLEEP DEPRIVATION

sleep-deprivation_changeblog

By Beth Ann Morgan

One reason I personally love sleep is the sweet closure it brings. Each dazzling sunset signals the end of one day, followed by the birth of the next, a blank page offering the possibility of yet another tomorrow. And even though the tremendous difficulties of yesterday may greet me with the dawn, the fact that God has brought me through one more day renews my strength to persevere minute by minute.

I remember a time when my youngest, Abigail, was medically critical. The situation was dire, and I had to keep going nearly round-the-clock for three nights in a row. As I went downstairs during the fourth night to get another box of diapers, the sun peeked over the horizon.

“NO!” I’d screamed. “No, no, NO!” Sobs overtook me as I collapsed with my box onto the sofa, my head in my hands. “It can’t be morning. It just can’t be!” Another day had come and gone, this one without any sleep at all.

How would I get through the day?

I could barely put one foot in front of the other, let alone do anything requiring cognitive skill. I did the only thing I knew to do. Pray.

“Please, God. Help me.”

Thankfully, God doesn’t require anything fancy. He answered all of those dark, desperate prayers I whispered in the wee hours of the morning. He gave me hope when there seemed so little to be had. He took care of me when I was so busy taking care of others that I neglected myself.

And He protected me on my commute to the hospital in Philadelphia time and time again. Just when my eyelids grew heavy, ideas would pop into my head, ideas I knew were from Him, not my exhausted brain.

I’ve collected my personal list of Ten Non-Caffeinated Ways to Fight Sleep Deprivation for use at the bedside, on the road, wherever and whenever I’m struggling to not only stay awake but also focused on the tasks at hand and the people I love.

I pray it helps you do the same – please feel free to pass it on.

 

Photo credit: changeblog.com a la Pinterest

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October 7, 2014

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Crisis, Heal, Health, Help, Hope

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A New Birth

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My son, John, turns five today. I can barely see the screen through my tears because John almost didn’t make it to his first birthday, let alone fifth. During the twentieth week of pregnancy, my husband (Christian) and I learned that John had gastroschisis, a birth defect in which his intestines formed outside his body.

Christian and I were stunned at first but later heartbroken and scared. The joy-filled visions of the coming baby flew out the window. A 20-minute appointment had changed our lives.

Forever.

We cried a lot. We prayed a lot, as did our family and friends. Finally, as much as we dreaded facing the ordeal ahead, God in His amazing way ignited our passion and gave us the courage, hope, and strength to fight for the life of our son.

So, we took a big breath and moved forward.

Over the next seventeen weeks and then another four-and-a-half months in the hospital, John never gave up. By his sheer determination and the greatness of our God, he survived. He continued to thrive, growing and gaining weight at a normal rate. Within his first year, he no longer needed his feeding tube, and by four years of age, he came off all medication.

Thank You, God!

I cannot think of a more appropriate date on which to launch this blog. My husband wrote our family’s first post on John’s CarePage blog at my bedside minutes after his delivery.

Today, our family’s challenges have given birth to another blog, Drinking from the Well. By using everything we’ve learned over the past five years, we look forward to helping families not only survive difficult circumstances but also thrive, whether they find themselves in active crisis or beyond.

Happy Birthday, John. I love you!

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September 16, 2014

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About, Crisis, Heal, Health, Help, Home, Hope

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WELCOME TO THE WELL

Bird drinking water

Had I known the details of the past seven years of my life before they passed, I would never have dreamed that I would survive them. A disabling heart condition. Two children with life-threatening birth defects. A crumbling marriage. Two miscarriages, both eight weeks to the day.

Unfortunately, the list goes on.

I don’t know the specific details of your wounds, whether they’re fresh and raw or healed to the point of nearly invisible scars. Perhaps you’ve recently lost a loved one or have admitted your child to the hospital. Maybe you’ve recently moved, lost a job, or have separated with little chance of reconciliation.

But from where I stand today, I can assure you that there is hope.

When I was in the thick of the hardest moments and the scorching fear and searing pain threatened to completely discourage and overwhelm me, I desperately needed to find an oasis in the desert where I could drink deeply from the well of someone who understood, someone who’d been there and done that. Someone who owned a pair of well-worn sandals buried deep in the closet, someone willing to drag them out to walk a few dusty miles by my side.

So relax against the cool, smooth stones and rest your weary soul while I dust off my sandals.

I want to walk with you.

GOALS for DRINKING FROM THE WELL 

  • To share our story as a means of encouraging others
  • To provide helpful information to families in active crisis
  • To provide resources that promote healing post-crisis
  • To give ideas that will help strengthen family relationships
  • To share the love of Jesus, the Living Water that quenches every thirst

“Let anyone who is thirsty come to Me and drink. Whoever believes in Me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” John 7:37-38

Drinking from the Well fits perfectly with my life’s purpose, which is to comfort and encourage others who hurt with the generous love and comfort I have received. My three main passions are Jesus, writing/speaking, and people. Okay, maybe four. Horses. I love horses. My sub-passions are by no means limited to the following: reading, singing, decorating cakes, running, cooking, gardening, and crafting (i.e. scrapbooking, quilting, sewing, painting, etc.). I am also addicted to using my dandelion hook.

On a professional note, I am a former pediatric dietitian, forced to resign in 2000 due to a heart condition. I turned to freelance writing, completed The Jerry B. Jenkins Christian Writers Guild’s Apprenticeship Program, and got busy writing articles and book proposals.

By the grace of God, our marriage and our relationships with our children are stronger than ever. Our dream as a couple is to own a farm through which our family can help hungry, hurting, and lonely people. By connecting them with resources to grow their own food and by sharing the love of Christ, we seek to offer hope, love, and a family that lasts forever.

Thanks for stopping in. I’ve got my sandals on and will keep you in my constant prayers. May God richly bless you and yours, both today – and beyond.

Much love,

Beth